fin.
2003-10-26.1:27 p.m.

i hate knowing what it's like to feel your heart beat within my own. i hate knowing what it's like to awaken with you surrounding me entirely. your hand in the small of my back and your hair swayed along my forehead.

but at the same time as all of this, it is really just a case of me loving what it all feels like, but hating it all the while because i knew all along that it wouldn't matter to you. and that's ok, because i'm working on picking up the pieces of myself that got scattered on the way back to your bed. i understand now what i had always hoped to change in time. i accept it. and i'm done.

i'm not going to try and change you or your mind, i'll let you think whatever you want to think. with this territory also comes the grounds of not sharing with you my conversations with Her. i'm not going to any more because they really are none of your business. just like me.

in the mean time, i'm content with being your friend, because i don't want anything more than that right now. not with you all confused. not with me all disoriented.

see you around.

so much time.so little to do.